An Avid Dreamer Blogs Here

Well it looks like I am laid off again! I'm not really upset about it this time like I was the first time. It happens, I get it, now I'll move on from it. Lately, I've been feeling kinda lost and a little empty and I 've prayed and prayed about it, so maybe this direction is the way to filling in the emptiness. Who knows? All I know is that my niece will be home next weekend so this lay off comes at just the right time, kinda like the first one lol. All I can really do is have faith that God is directing my path to the life and the future He has planned fo me. Something is bound to come up... I mean a new better job or in just a few short months my old job will be looking to hire again. It's their slow season so I knew it was coming. It wasn't like a big shock or anything. So with all of that in mind, I say with all my heart and with all the boldness I can muster "I'm listening God! I am here on this earth for Your will and Your plans. Lead me and direc...

Well feeling much more myself now, only took 2 days lol. So how's everyone else doing? I saw that the lottery is getting quite the hefty jackpot. Now I don't usually play, but I might have to. I already know exactly what I'd do if I won. One thing for sure is buy myself a home and buy homes for some family. But something I think would be really great to do with that kind of money is to put an article in the paper asking people to nominate friends, family, or even strangers that have fallen on hard times and need help. I would do it just for the county I live in to begin with. I'd take a million dollars and help out the people that were nominated that needed it most. It could be something as simple as paying off a student loan or buying a used car to the more complex stuff like paying off home loans or paying for someone to go to college. Just a little something to help people out and what better time then now. Then I would do the same thing for the county my hometown is...

So I attended the wedding of one of my very good friends today. All in all was a nice wedding. One complaint...August in Georgia!! I was sweating like a pig at a bbq. Oh wait women don't sweat lol I was glistening. Yup glistening from my face, my back, and my pits rofl! That's so wrong. Anywho, as I was saying, before I went off on my sweat tangent. It was a lovely wedding and I am happy for my friend and his new bride...GRATZ YA'LL!! Don't expect a yeehaw, I'm not that southern lol. So I am looking around this wedding and I really start feeling like the odd man out. First off I'm wearing a tie dyed skirt lol but apart from that I feel like really really out. I mean I knew people there and such, but I didn't feel like I belonged. I started to feel so lonely and then I really felt like I stuck out from the group. I felt ugly, like I was some gross monster with snot dripping from my lop sided face and a rat perched on my hump. I'm not an ugly person, at le...

I'm just sitting here looking through all the homes for sale in my area and thinking "Will I ever have my own home?" I kinda feel like I'm behind, you know, like I'm missing out or losing the race. I had this plan since like 13 that when I hit 30 I was gonna publish my book and become a famous author and all my dreams would come true. Well here I am 31 and still renting a place and working for the man. Lol! It's crazy how things work out. I never thought I'd be where I am right now in my life, but in some ways that's really good. I mean no I don't have a home that's mine, but I do have an amazing husband and some really great friends. I guess in the material department I might be lacking, but in the way more important stuff department I'm pretty rich. I'm blessed to be working and able to make ends meet. I have some very dear friends who would do anytihng for me. And last but not least I have a husband who, well to go all corny and Jerr...

I know it's been a minute since I wrote, but have been super duper busy all through may. It pretty much started the second weekend of may and have just now slowed down. But I have loved every minute of it. The first weekend I spent with my family at the Georgia Renaissance Festival and we had a blast. The next weekend was my birthday weekend and I went to Tennessee and spent the weekend with my best bud and we had way too much fun lol. Then the following weekened another renaissance trip with a medieval times run in too lol. So things are a little bit slower this past weekend. I just did a little rest and recoup haha. Now back to the grindstone for another work week. But hey the good news is between being deathly sick (that was the other reason I haven't been on lol) and all these weekends I've dropped 15 lbs!! And that's always a really good feeling lol.I've started taking some new vitamins and they really are helping me. I feel better for one and for two they are ...

So in an earlier post I told of making a homeade 3 layer red velvet cake, but wanted to touch on it again to talk about how not fun it was to make lol. I tried out my new mixer (word of advice test a new one out on something simple before trying anything like this cake). I put in my oil and sugar and left in on high to cream as I was putting all my dry ingredients together to sift. I should have looked closer before I tossed in the eggs and red food coloring because what I ended up with was lumps of red sugar and eggs haha! The dang mixer, on it's highest setting, wasn't enough to cream the sugar and oil. Needless to say I started over and used my old faithful mixer. Sure it doesn't have the nice stand and it can be cranky some days, but it's never let me down. So now what to do with the new mixer? Certainly not make cakes that's for sure. I'm sure it'd be great for mashed potatoes, so I'll keep it around for that, but that new mixer is grounded from any...

All in all I've had a really nice day today. It was really great to get to spend the whole day with my hubby and enjoy each others company. I don't think I've laughed so much with him in awhile. It'a a good idea to take the time to reconnect and fuel that flame from the spark that brought two loners together. It's wonderful to have someone who is a compliment to your own personality. He keeps me level headed when I need it be because I spend alot of time in the clouds lol. And where sometimes I over think stuff searching for an answer he can step in look at the surface and give a simple applicable solution. Make it a point today and everyday to appreciate the one that loves you... the one that can say you are beautiful even when you are sick as a dog and feel like poo (i know he's lying but makes me feel better lol); the one who has been the reciever of your bad attitude when you have had a bad day; the one who, when the world is falling in around you, just hold...

I had a really weird sorta dream last night. In the dream I am riding a moped but I have to peddle it. I end up riding into a metro area where there are lots of cars then I turn around and head home. I am heading to a couples house for dinner and when I get there I am in a wheelchair, but I can walk. The couple own the largest collection of model trains in the world and I get to look at them all and play with them. Then I eat dinner with them and then I woke up. Weird huh? The wheelchair part makes me curious what that means because I could walk, but I could also feel like it was getting to the point where I was about to need a wheelchair anyway. Very strange. Oh well, dream on dreamers....even the weird dreams lol.

Well I couldn't sleep, my mind was racing again tonight lol. I was just thinking about how wonderful it would be to get to buy the house of my dreams. Let's see I'm not too terribly picking so... it would have to be at least 3 bedrooms (maybe one day God will bless my hubby and I with a child), at least 2 bathrooms because I don't want to have to wait in line in my own house lol. Hmm, what else? A fireplace would be nice to have (my childhood home had fireplaces and those are fond memories), but not a neccesity. I would definately have to have a decent sized yard for my doggies to play in (fenced or not cause I can always fence it in). And somewhere in that house a spot that I could make special just for me, my little safe haven for praying or bad days or deep thinking or just doing a bit of yoga and meditation. And it would have to give that feeling of home because I have been to houses that didn't feel like a home. Oh and a butterfly would have to be around somewh...

Today was a really great day. I went to see my father and step mom and step brother. I baked my step bro a 3 layer red velvet cake for his birthday. I love spending time with my family. I always feel so centered and peaceful after I visit with them. I know I am very lucky because there are alot of ppl out there who don't have great relationships with their families. It's fun to just get together and laugh, which we do alot. I wish I could remember all the things we talk about to put in the blog for some added laughs, but we talk so much for the time I'm there I can never remember any of it lol. So today dreamers, get your head out of the clouds and wrap your arms around someone you love! Happy dreaming and remember live, laugh, love.

I was sitting down this evening trying to think of what to write in my blog tonight when it suddenly dawned on me how fortunate I am, so that's what I am writing about tonight. I am thankful for so many things. I am thankful to have a job (altho it is only part time) when so many others do not. I am fortunate that I still have a roof over my head, food in my fridge, a vehicle in my driveway and all sustained during my 7 months of unemployment. I am also quite fortunate to be married to my best friend, soul mate, and shoulder to cry on (as a side note we are still just as in love as we were 9yrs ago when it all began). I am thankful that my father moved closer to my home and I get to see him so much more than I have in the past couple years and also thankful that he found someone that is so very good to him. I am thankful for having the greatest big brother in the world and sister-in-law that I can love and share things with like a sister. Let's see, what else? I am grateful for...

During a discussion with a friend today we ended up talking about alot of things that are in the news or trending right now. I am a huge fan of The Ellen Degeneres show and she had Constance McMillen, the young lady who wanted to go to prom with her girlfriend and wear a tux, on the show a few weeks back. So my friend and I were talking about it and I have to be honest they should have let her go to her own prom however she wanted to as long as she wasn't dressed disrespectfully. What was the harm in the two of them going to prom together? We should be more understanding in this day and age. I mean I think we should rejoice in the unique differences that make us a diverse culture and not breed hate and intolerance. It's not like the girls would have behaved badly or anything, proms have adult supervision to keep all the students behaving. Why are people so afraid of anything different or not their idea of "the norm"? God has called all of us to be His messengers and t...

So yesterday was my first day back to work. Everything went really well. I was glad that it did too lol. Most everything is the same with a few exceptions. So my beautiful dreamers, how was your monday? Monday, monday...was a good day for me haha. I was a little tired by the end of the night but that's just because I am not used to working. I've been on hiatus for 7 months lol. It is good to be back to work. You ever feel directed or lead to find something that was just happen chance? That's what happened to me last night when I got home from work. I was watching Kirstie Alley's Big Life on You Tube and clicked on a side video in the suggestions, you know the "if you liked this video, you might also like". Anyway, so as I click the next video, nothing really interesting in that one and then another "suggestion" video looks kind of interesting and I click it. So to shorten the story a little bit about 10 clicks later, I click on a video that was tagge...

So I was trying to wind down to get ready for bed and my mind was racing with ideas, no doubt the obvious effect of drinking a coke today lol. The one idea that really stood out in my mind was about a car contest. I wish there was a contest to design a theme for a car, including exterior and interior. I am a HUGE Janis Joplin fan and if I could find a contest like that I would do a design on a volkswagon bug. The newer ones cause I cannot drive a stick lol. It'd have to be a convertable with a black top for sure. Then I would do a psychedelic hippies type paint job as closely matched to the paint job Janis had on her jaguar. I'd get rims that look like flowers (pic posted above)and then I was thinking the inside could be done like tie dye. That would be so trippy. I'd love it and drive that thing everywhere! Man I need to find a contest like that and then I could write an essay to go with it about why it would be such an awesome design and such. Like it says an avid dreamer...

Well it was a good day after all. Everyone was super nice and happy to see me and I was happy to see them too. Orientation went well, so all in all a good day. Nothing much has changed there and they finished the renovations so it looks really nice. Well, it's amazing how one phone call can just change your whole day. It's hard to think about someone you love dying. My niece is 9 and has MLD (metachromatic leukodystrophy) and there's no cure for it. She's had to go thru chemo therapy and a transplant and she faces it all with a thumbs up and little complaint. But she isn't herself and knows it and feels it. It kills me that she doesn't laugh and smile as much as she used to. That she doesn't run and jump and sing like she used to. It feels like a part of my heart is dying. I am trying to keep faith, but somedays it's so hard. Is it naive to think that one day she's gonna wake and be just fine? I want her to be som badly. I can't stand to think o...

Well tomorrow starts my first day back to work, well not work but orientation. I can honestly say I have some apprehensive feelings. I haven't worked in almost 7months and I am grateful to have something, but there's this little voice in my head saying, "Really? I thought you were going to do something great;you know, change the world." And now I am just back to the same thing as before and still no major accomplishments. I am happy to be working, but I just feel like there is some great adventure or some great undertaking just waiting for me and I am just missing the boat. Anyone else ever feel that way? There's got to be more to life than just this. I really do want to change the world...somehow. I don't know maybe I'm being naive, but I just feel like everyone in this world was put here for something amazing. You know, like how some ppl grow up poor and put themselves thru med school and then go to 3rd world countries to help ppl. Amazing! I don't s...

So I was looking around wondering what the best blog site is. I was quite surprised that when I typed "best site for blogging" and "best blog site" nothing came up....nothing. So my thought is how do you know anyone's reading, that anyone is out there that even cares. I mean sure there are comments, but when the searches don't yield even a list of blogs how does one find you. Any blog I might have read or keep track of was just a random find thru a search. Is that the case for them all? And what really makes a blog a good read? I mean I have read blogs about things that some might say were boring but I found fascinating. So who's the audience out there? Maybe I am overthinking it all. I guess I should just stick with writing all my crazy thoughts, opinions, fears, and dreams and hope it appeals to someone huh? And if not at least it's here for me.

Is it wrong to just be tired of the days you keep having? I mean I know each day is supposed to be a blessing, but I am really tired of my days lately. I mean I am sure that if you are someone famous it's not nearly the same, but then again maybe it is. I guess I am just tired of waking up to the same thing every single day. Sun comes up, look for jobs, find no jobs, go to store, cook foods, play some WoW, talk with family, goodnight world. That seems to be it.I want different, I want exciting! I want..I want...TO CHANGE THE WORLD! If not but some minor thing in it. I want to leave behind something uniquely me, to be remembered for something..anything. I want to change the way we view the people and treat the people in our world. Is that selfish to want to do something like that? It's not important that I be forever known in the history books, but just to do something. I guess I am just feeling a little helpless today. What other feeling can you call it when someone you love is...