Day Ahead

Well tomorrow starts my first day back to work, well not work but orientation. I can honestly say I have some apprehensive feelings. I haven't worked in almost 7months and I am grateful to have something, but there's this little voice in my head saying, "Really? I thought you were going to do something great;you know, change the world." And now I am just back to the same thing as before and still no major accomplishments. I am happy to be working, but I just feel like there is some great adventure or some great undertaking just waiting for me and I am just missing the boat. Anyone else ever feel that way? There's got to be more to life than just this. I really do want to change the world...somehow. I don't know maybe I'm being naive, but I just feel like everyone in this world was put here for something amazing. You know, like how some ppl grow up poor and put themselves thru med school and then go to 3rd world countries to help ppl. Amazing! I don't see myself doing that, but I do feel that there is something special, something uniquely me that is just waiting to burst free and at least change my little corner of the world. Life can't really just be about the "norm". Not everyone is made to marry, have kids, work a 9-5, and be content. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, just that it's not the only thing. I mean I'm married myself so who am I to judge that, of course I try not to judge.
Is it selfish to want more and I don't mean materially. I personally could care less about money. If I could just barter and trade like in the old days I'd have a big old farm and never even think about the corporate world. I could spend my evenings on the front porch swing watching the sun go down and drinking some ice cold tea. Wow, I just kinda painted a picture in my mind...it was nice lol. I think that all the advances our world has made are nice...I'm typing this right now and someone in another country could read it, it's amazing. But in all the advancing we've done, have we lost some of our humanity? Alas apprehension rears it's ugly little head again. Well have a good evening dreamers, until next time.

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