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Are things going to get better

I feel like the second we start to get ahead, we get kicked right back down. I sold my truck because I wasn't using it anymore and it helped catch things up for a bit. Money doesn't seem to go far these days. The thing is, I have all these wild dreams in my mind and feel like none of them will ever come to pass. All I wish for myself is a tiny house and zero debt. My dream for my mother is to set her place up so that she doesn't have to worry about anything. Solar panels and things like that. I dream to buy my niece a house to start her life in. My dream for my other niece is a house built for her that allows her wheelchair to go everywhere and anything that would make her life easier. I want to set up college funds for all the kids in my life. I long to make a difference in this world. As it is, I'm not working and feel like a failure. I hate feeling so worthless. I also feel bad because I can't get myself out of these bad feelings. Mainly because my husband deserv...
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Playing pretend

I'm manic right now. On days when I am manic, I can't stop trying to fix things. In one day, I have replaced a broken floorboard, repaired the lawn mower pull chord, cleaned out the refrigerator, moved a pile of wood, and other stuff I can't remember. When I am manic, my brain is a bit scattered as well. I titled this post playing pretend because when I'm like this, I pretend I'm fine. I put a "mask" on that is all smiles to hide the sadness I am feeling. Sometimes it's more a loniless than a sadness or a mix of the two. I realize that if I hide behind a mask of I'm fine, no one will know how I feel. I did something I usually don't do...I actually said the words "I'm sad and don't know why" to my husband when he got home from work. I didn't want to unpack my crap on him after he worked all day, but I needed to tell someone. I truly don't know why I am sad. I just know I am. It'll last a few days and I'll push t...
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One year vegan!

Today marks one year vegan! I can't believe it's been a year already. It certainly doesn't feel like it. I've grown accustomed to the lifestyle now and have learned how to quickly read labels on a product I don't know to see if it is vegan. I am interested in joining the activism side of veganism, but I'm nervous. I can get emotional quickly and worry I'll be overcome and not be able to help. Just me standing there crying. I quit meat easily enough and don't miss it at all. I wish more people would take the leap. People tend to make excuses and assume that all they'll eat is a salad. Times they are a changing. Gone are the days of salad and bland tofu. There is a plethora of vegan options now. I mean amazing ice creams that are rich and creamy. Burgers and hot dogs that are flavor packed. While I limit myself on processed foods, it's a great starting point for the newly vegan palate. I love veggies in about any form, so vegan wasn't a hard ju...
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A night of honor with a graduate

Tonight I went to my niece's honors night. It's hard to believe she's graduating in just a few short days. She got so many awards. Every time they called her name, I would tear up. Her pet name is Anaksunamun, so I will refer to her as that or A. A is graduating with honors as well. I couldn't be more proud of A. She has worked hard and is so smart. A has lived with me for 3 years now and I like to hope that I helped, in some all way, her become this really terrific and amazing young woman! I wasn't sure about opening my home to her. It was scary and uncharted territory, but was worth it. I got to teach her to ride a bike and drive a car. There were so many firsts..... even now, I tear up thinking about it. I couldn't have imagined how great this kid would become. I know that whatever she decides to do, she will rock it. I look forward to her future and all the wonderful amazing things this life has to offer her. Today, I turn 40, my own little milestone; but it...
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Broken but still dreaming

I'm about to be 40 years old and I feel like something is broken in me. Shouldn't I be more settled? Shouldn't I have a job, instead of walking away from one? I have no regrets with quitting, although I do miss my coworkers and customers. I just feel like I'm not doing what is expected of me. Shouldn't I be settled more? This darn gypsy spirit of mine just feels caged. I want to write a book. I want to see the world. I want so many things and feel like none of them will ever happen. I know not every dream will come true, but maybe just one or two. One thing I really wish, is that I had the money to send my niece to college. I hate that she has to worry about paying for tuition. I wish that I could say, pick wherever you want to go, I got you. I wish I could build a house with tons of handicap options for my other niece. It would be great to know that she would be taken care of for life. The only thing I want for myself is a tiny house and a newer vehicle, specifical...
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Vegans rock

I love being a vegan. I don't try to push an agenda on anyone, but I happily answer any question when asked. I was walking through the grocery store and overheard a few people making fun of almond milk. They were calling it gross and just saying stupid stuff. I wanted to lay into them and tell them how gross cow milk is, but I just kept walking. I don't stand on some soapbox looking down on people who choose not to be vegan. I became a vegan because I can't stand the thought of animals being harmed for me to eat. It's been prove that a vegan diet is sustainable and better for your health. I encourage anyone to check out Earthling Ed's videos and Challenge 22 to learn more about veganism. My hope is all you lovely dreamers give veganism a chance.
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Tiny House Festival

I went to the 4th annual Georgia tiny house festival the first weekend in march. I was so excited. I woke up feeling a little meh, but decided to go anyway. I ended up leaving after about two hours. I got super super sick. When I got home I slept for 13 hours and spent the entire week sick in bed. I got to see quite a few skoolies that I follow on social media, which was really cool. Being inside a tiny house was so great, even though I felt terrible. I loved seeing them in person instead of just pictures. I am so ready for a tiny house. Hopefully next time I won't be sick.
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